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The Gift of Beginning
Again
Beginning again, or starting
over, can take on a vastly different tone depending on the context. A few
years ago my computer went to the shop and came back, unexpectedly, with
an empty brain (hard drive). Those were the days before recordable CD
drives were low cost and readily available, so my backups were limited to
floppy disks and carried out without much rigor. The idea of starting over
to recreate a host of lost files was crushing, to say the least.
Beginning Relationships Anew
But in our relationships, the possibility of starting over can at times be
a breath of fresh air or even the only means to save a relationship.
Whether we are the victim of small accumulated resentments or large hurts,
the willingness to grant another person the right to begin that
relationship anew without holding the hurts of the past over him or her
can be a tremendous gift. It is more often stated as forgiveness,
but often the extension of forgiveness only means that I will allow the
relationship to continue and not actively treat you as an enemy, but I
reserve the right to use the past against you if it serves my purpose.
While a beginning again is not completely possible, since we can't and
wouldn't want to erase the good memories we hold in any relationship, the
willingness to drop the past as a weapon is crucial if we are to maintain
a healthy connectedness to others. We will probably seek to escape a
relationship if the mistakes of the past remain as a towering wall
threatening to crash down upon us at any time.
The Proper Context of
Forgiveness
Jesus reminds us that our need to grant forgiveness should always be
considered in light of our own need for forgiveness. He told the story in
Matthew 18 of a slave who owed a vast sum to the king, and successfully
pled for forgiveness of his debt, only to refuse forgiveness to a fellow
slave who owed him a trifling amount. We might apply this lesson on the
human level and agree that we should forgive others either because we have
been recipients of their forgiveness in the past or may be in the future.
However laudable this might be, Jesus intends a comparison between the
forgiveness of man and the forgiveness of God. Knowing that He was soon to
make available, through His death on a Roman
cross, forgiveness of an unpayable sin debt owed by all mankind, He wanted
to emphasize how small in comparison are the sins of others against us.
The Proper Perspective on
Forgiveness
So in addition to giving the gift of beginning again merely because we
need to do so to maintain healthy relationships, we cannot ignore the
ultimate gift of beginning again that is provided to us through the death
and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. It will enable us to put our
hurts in proper perspective and allow us to extend forgiveness to those
who need it most. Be ready to give the gift of beginning again to those
around you, knowing that it will cost you something, but that it may be
priceless to those who receive it.
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